What is Attachment?

Attachment is simply about how we bond with another person. It is a way to be emotionally nourished or it’s also the cause of emotional starvation. Attachment is the single most important regulator of our lives and we spend our entirety trying to manage our attachment needs. You either limp along and get your needs met minimally or have the good fortune of feeling really bonded and secure and living an optimal life experience by having other people as a rich emotional resource.

It has to do with the body mind and how the body mind is one entity. How that body mind connects has been a question throughout history. How do we integrate the two and know how to explain to others why the body-mind & attachment are all interwoven together.

It is a hardwired primal self preservation intelligence that starts with you at birth (and in utero) that never lets up. Your mental well being depends on you forming emotional bonds with another person, several people and having affiliation with groups. 

Attachment impacts your being, other words your mind-body connection. Everything about you is affected. Your response rate to the world, your ability to read cues and knowing in advance how you want to deal with particular situations. 

Your level of confidence and a sense of determination in all sectors of your life will be impacted. Your hormonal systems and your health are largely determined by your attachment. 

A newborn baby/infant who was made to realize what it’s like to feel physically secure through adequate caregiving has a distinct advantage in feeling safe and expecting to be met with care and love than one that only knows insecurity. 

We cannot go through an entire lifespan without bonding with another person or several people or group or be affiliated somehow. It’s something that is baked into our makeup. 

As much as we want to stay isolated from the rest of the world because we’ve been stung too many times, the quest for attachment is a primal quest that starts in us at birth and never lets up. 

If we are going to be emotionally healthy, we need to have resources in the way of people to bond to. We cannot be emotionally healthy if we don’t develop good people resources to feel bonded to in ways that meet our specific needs. .